Divorcing a partner can be one of the most difficult times in a person’s life. It doesn’t matter the sex of the person as both men and women will lose through a divorce and to someone going through a divorce for the first time they may have many questions.
How will a divorce affect me financially? Divorces can be costly from a financial point of view so this can be a genuine worry of someone looking to get divorced.
How will a divorce affect my children? Parents often worry about how their children will be affected by a divorce.
Where will I store my furniture when we sell the home? Moving from your home into a new one can take time. Moving home, in general, can be a stressful time in someone’s life so adding divorce on top can be worrying.
What items can I take from the home? Knowing what items you can take from the home can also be confusing.
Who gets to keep the home during a divorce? Usually, your assets will be split 50/50 but not every situation is the same.
Will I be happy after a divorce? Being unhappy in a marriage is a good reason for divorce, but many people still worry they may be unhappier alone.
As you can see for both sides there are uncertainties and getting a divorce is a huge step in a relationship.
Given the uncertainty that comes with a divorce, it may shock you to see who initiates divorce the most often.
Who initiates divorce more often?
Women initiate divorce the most often. The wife will initiate a divorce 70% of the time according to a study carried out by Stanford University. While in the UK the office of national statistics show that 62% of divorces were initiated by the wife.
Why Do Women Initiate Divorce More Than Men?
The study looked at 2000 adults between the ages of 19 and 94 and found that a lack of equality in a relationship was one of the deciding factors for getting a divorce.
Other contributing factors included:
Infidelity.
Emotional abuse.
Physical Abuse.
Lack of communication.
Professional women who are career-driven are also far more likely to file for a divorce as women are usually seen as the centre for emotional support for a family. If you add to this a hectic work life and a hectic family life you can see that pressure is put onto a woman and if the woman thinks their husband isn’t pulling their weight it can soon cause conflict at home.
Husbands aren’t aware there is a problem.
Women are far more likely to initiate a divorce because they are more emotionally aware whereas husbands often don’t know there is a problem in the first place.
Both parties here are to blame because of the lack of communication in a relationship. The lack of intimacy that this can cause can also cause people to cheat and as private investigators in London who get hired by spouses to catch cheating partners we see this all of the time.
Women want to be financially secure
One of the main reasons women initiate divorce more often than men is down to financial security. This doesn’t have to mean earnings either it could be that the husband is spending too much money on things the wife doesn’t agree on such as:
Alcohol.
Drugs
Gambling
The woman feels the husband isn’t giving her enough attention
One of the main excuses used for cheating is that a woman doesn’t feel as if their husband is giving them enough attention at home or isn’t providing them with enough intimacy.
This can be difficult for men as statistically, they are going to work longer hours and travel further away from the home to work too.
Conclusion
There is no one reason why men and women get divorced but from the studies carried out, you can see that women initiate divorces at a higher level than men.
Men and women cheat for many different reasons and as private investigators, we often get called to catch cheaters in the act. In this article, we aren’t here to judge, condemn or even promote cheating. This article is going to show the most common excuses for cheating that we have heard in our experience.
Common excuses cheaters use.
Here are the most common excuses for cheating we have heard in our many years of experience.
Excuses for cheating reason #1 – I just can’t help it.
People with higher sex drives than their partners will use the excuse that they simply just can’t help it as their sex drive is too high and if sex life at home has stopped then they feel this is justifiable to them.
People also argue that from an evolution point of view that men are “programmed” to sleep with as many women as possible to procreate so this is often factored into an argument.
This may have been the case when the cavemen and women were around, but in modern society, it doesn’t work and it’s just an excuse.
If you do feel yourself feeling that your sex drive is too high and your partner’s sex drive is too low then you should communicate this with them. Sex drive can be affected by:
Stress
Birth Control
Medicine
Chronic Conditions
None of these situations would be the fault of either person too, so communicating the feeling of not being wanted due to a lack of intimacy could improve your current situation. If you find it difficult to bring these issues up you could go to a marriage counsellor and work through your problems together.
By cheating, you are eventually going to get caught and you are going to break the heart of someone you love. If your situation is bad then tell your partner and end the relationship. Or you can help your partner improve their sex drive by reducing their stress, eating healthier, hiring a personal trainer to help you lose weight and have more energy and making sure you are both getting enough sleep.
A low sex drive doesn’t have to ruin a relationship, if both partners are willing to work on the relationship it can be saved.
Excuses for cheating reason #2 – They aren’t the same person I married.
People change over time, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. If you don’t grow together as a couple then a relationship can be in trouble.
When you first start dating, people only want to show the best side of them but over time peoples flaws can become apparent. If you haven’t cheated but you are on the edge of doing so, it’s once again advised to talk to your partner.
Some people choose to cheat because a person’s looks have faded, where others cheat because the same effort isn’t there before and maybe the romance has died.
Having a discussion where you have to tell someone you have lost attraction to them because of their looks fading is no doubt going to hurt them but then again so is cheating. If a partner has put on weight or doesn’t make an effort dressing nice anymore then you could work on that but if you choose to cheat that could be the death sentence for your relationship.
Excuses for cheating reason #3 – My partner doesn’t spend time with me anymore.
This is usually the excuse used by women when their partner is “working all the time.” However, it can be used when male partners go out binge drinking with their friends too.
In the first instance, it can be a tough pill to swallow for the man in that relationship as they are often confused as to why their other half would cheat because they are working hard to provide for their family.
If you feel your partner is working too much then talk to them about this as men are quite oblivious to this problem and often don’t know it exists.
In the second situation where your partner is binge drinking if a simple talk doesn’t stop them from binge drinking then it may be worth talking to an addiction specialist, we see many couples suffering from the effects of alcohol and drug addiction so seeking professional help is advisable.
As private investigators in London we have seen many couples suffer from addiction problems and if you are in the London Area here are a few addiction clinics you could go to:
Excuses for cheating reason #4 – They give me more attention.
This is an excuse used by both men and women and it often occurs with work-based cheating. If you aren’t getting attention at home and someone at work who you spend long hours with is starting to flirt with you and make you feel good then it can lead to an affair taking place.
Getting attention from someone new may give you that new relationship feeling and can make you feel excited again. However, it’s up to you as a couple to work on your relationship to put the fun into it and keep each other interested.
Excuses for cheating reason #5 – I was drunk.
Being drunk is one of the most common excuses for cheating and we hear it all the time. Being drunk in our opinion doesn’t cause people to cheat it just gives them an excuse for doing so.
Being drunk also doesn’t hold much weight in people who continually cheat while drunk as one time may be an accident but repeat offences aren’t.
Excuses for cheating reason #6 – You cheated before.
If someone in a relationship has cheated many couples can then use this as an excuse for cheating on the other person. If you do cheat and your partner forgives you there is a very real chance of this happening to you.
If you are in a relationship where you are seeking revenge on each other it doesn’t look good for your relationship. If you have cheated and the person has forgiven you they don’t then have a free pass to cheat on you. The opposite is also true, if someone has cheated on you and you forgive them you don’t then get a free pass to cheat.
Either forgive and move on or end the relationship. Revenge cheating is never going to work.
Excuses for cheating reason #7 – Everyone does it.
We’ve heard this excuse for cheating a lot over the years and it still baffles us to this day. Not everyone cheats, if the people around you do then you are dating the wrong people.
Excuses for cheating reason #8 – It didn’t mean anything.
This is another common excuse we have heard from cheating partners and logically it doesn’t make sense. Maybe it didn’t mean anything and it was “just sex” as some have said to us but you have ruined a relationship with someone you have loved and possibly destroyed your family too, so using the excuse of it didn’t mean anything can be a kick in the face to the partner that has been cheated on.
Cheating husband excuses
Husbands who cheat often use a mixture of not getting enough attention, getting attention at work, their partners have lower sex drives, they were drunk or it didn’t mean anything.
Cheating husbands may also use the other excuses above but in our experience, those are the main reasons they give for cheating.
Cheating wife excuses
Cheating wives often make the excuses of they weren’t getting enough attention, their partner doesn’t spend enough time with them, their partner has changed and it just happened (often at work).
Wives who cheat may use other excuses too but these are the ones that we have found to be the most common.
Excuses to get out of the house to cheat
If you do suspect your wife or husband of cheating you may want to hire a private investigator to help catch them. We have offices in Cardiff, Bristol and London but we do service the entire UK.
With that said you may be able to catch a cheater yourself as they will use some of the most common excuses to get out of the house to cheat which can be seen below.
Staying late at work to get out of the house to cheat.
One of the most common excuses to get out of the house to cheat is by staying late at work. Of course, many of us have to do that on occasion but if this is new to your relationship and your partner has no additional job responsibilities then this could be a red flag.
In our experience, men will use this excuse more than women.
Using business trips as an excuse to get out of the house to cheat.
A business trip is an easy way to get out of the house to cheat as often they are scheduled far away from the home and it’s very difficult for someone to check if a person is actually where they say they are.
Some smart cheaters may take their new lover on a vacation elsewhere and order a souvenir online from the place they were supposed to be at to give to their partners.
A private investigator can conduct surveillance and catch a cheating partner on a business trip so if you think this is happening to you feel free to get in touch with us.
Using the gym as an excuse to get out of the house to cheat.
The gym is also a common excuse used to get people out of the house to cheat. If your partner has suddenly started going to the gym it may be the case that they want to improve their health and fitness which should be encouraged but if after a few months no improvements are being made it could be the case that your partner is cheating.
Conclusion
Above we have covered the most common excuses for cheating along with some of the ways a cheating partner may get out of the house to cheat. We have also looked at excuses husbands and wives use when cheating and have suggested some ways of improving your relationship instead of cheating.
If you suspect your partner is cheating get in touch with one of our highly skilled private detectives and we can give you peace of mind either way.
As private Investigators in London, we often get hired by a spouse who suspects their other half of cheating. And while we are never happy to confirm this via our evidence at least the client now knows where they stand in their relationship.
Some clients will want a divorce while others will look for ways of saving their marriage. If you want to fight for your marriage and try to fix it today we will look at some of the best marriage counselling services in London that you can use to save your marriage.
Can you save your marriage?
Cheating can be the ultimate form of betrayal to some and there is no way back from it. If you feel like this then the best way is to end the marriage amicably and go on your separate ways. However, with that said, some of us realise that everyone can make mistakes and sometimes a marriage can be saved if both parties are open and honest.
If you have cheated or were cheated on it’s very important to get your reasons out in the open and discuss why it happened. A lack of communication is often a contributing factor to why people cheat in the first place so a good place to start is to be open and honest with each other.
Being open and honest isn’t always going to save your marriage but if both parties can see from each others point of view it could be a sign your marriage can be saved.
As a private detective agency in London, we are contacted by spouses suspecting infidelity all of the time and quite often the person who suspects the cheating is right. If you would like to see if your partner is cheating please get in touch and we can walk you through our process.
If you already know that your partner has cheated then we recommend speaking to a marriage councillor either to save your relationship or so you can end your relationship on as good of terms as possible.
We aren’t experts on marriage counselling so we have provided a list of marriage councillors in London that can help you with your marriage.
Marriage Counsellors in London
Leone Center are a well-known relationship counselling company in London that provide a wide range of counselling services whether it be relationship counselling, divorce counselling or marriage counselling.
The Leone Center also offer online counselling if you can’t make it to their physical location which I think is great as many of us can’t travel due to covid restrictions.
The Leone Center was founded in 2009 and they have many relationship experts that can help you save your marriage.
The Leone Center head office is located at:
The Leone Centre, Studio 19, Hurlingham Studios, Ranelagh Gardens Fulham, London, SW6 3PA
They also have office locations within London at Fulham, Chelsea, Battersea, Victoria, Belgravia, Wimbledon and Putney.
Another great marriage counselling service in London is the KlearMinds service.
KlearMinds offer relationship therapy that can help with communication, intimacy issues, divorce issues and can help if a partner has had an affair too.
Couple sessions are charged at £130 for a 50-minute session (accurate at time of writing.)
You can visit KlearMinds at multiple locations in London:
Another option for trying to save your marriage is the Harley Therapy company in London. They have many counsellors that can help restore your marriage to a better time in your life and have their own unique process of doing so.
They have offices on Harley Street and within the city of London and you can find their head office at:
1-7 Harley Street, London W1G 9QD
You can find out more about Harley therapy on their website below:
If you find a partner cheating, and think your relationship is worth saving then talking to a marriage counsellor is a good step as they can help you work out the next steps in your relationship.
If you suspect your partner is cheating, get in touch with us and one of our private investigators can talk you through our process of catching a cheating partner.
There are many reasons for hiring a private investigator and one of them is to find a person of interest. In this post, we will look at some of the methods used by private investigators to find people.
If you are looking for a parent, child, sibling or want to track someone down as the result of a DNA test our person tracking service may be of interest to you but if you want to keep on reading please do.
Private investigators find people through social media.
When a client hires us they usually don’t have too much information and can only give us a name or a location. For example, we offer private investigator services in London and if someone were to come to us with a name and an area of London in which the person is known to have lived at some point we can then look through social media to find that person.
Of course, finding a person isn’t as simple as turning on Facebook and typing in a person’s name, but social media can give us some clues on where to look. Social media can give us access to that person’s friends list, last known locations and even their images can give us an indication of their current location.
Private investigators also have specialist tools from which they can download an image from the internet and get location data from. If a photo was taken of the person of interest and it had location data showing it was taken in Bristol then our private investigators would have a good place to start.
Private investigators find people through specialist databases
When you hire a private investigator you are hiring a team of people who have many years of experience and know exactly where to look to find a missing person. A private investigator has access to private and public records that can give a private detective a place to start.
The public can access these databases on their own if they need to but knowing where to start is something that most people don’t know how to do and having the wrong search query could mean the difference between finding a person and never seeing them. If you are looking for a missing person, hiring a private investigator is going to help make your search more efficient.
Private investigators find people through court records
Court records can span many years and can provide a private investigator with many clues that can reveal a location of a person. The public can access court records but once again if you don’t have training in finding missing people then you may miss a vital clue that could otherwise reveal where they are located.
Private investigators can find people through vehicle registrations
Private detectives can look through vehicle registration databases to find out what type of vehicle the person of interest has, this information is then vital when a private investigator company carries out surveillance.
Private investigators can find people through detective work
Private investigators use a combination of the above to find out where a person may be, a highly-skilled detective will look at all of the evidence above and will then combine it with knocking on doors, asking people questions and through good investigation skills will be able to narrow down the location of the person of interest.
What type of people do private investigators find?
Above you saw some of the ways how a private investigator finds people but you may be wondering why you would go through the effort of finding someone who doesn’t want to be found.
The short answer is sometimes these people don’t even know you are looking for them and sometimes they would like to find you too but don’t know where to start.
Some clients hire us to find ex-partners who they would like to reconnect with, others hire us to find old friends that they have drifted apart from and then others hire us to find their biological parents, sisters, brothers and other family members.
Businesses may want to find a person who owes them money too.
As you can see there are many reasons for wanting to find a person and above we have listed some of the ways how a private investigator may find a person.
If you are looking for someone and need help finding them get in touch with us and one of our private investigators can talk you through some of the options available to your situation.
Many of our clients are not sure what powers private investigators have, and that isn’t helped by movies that showcase us as the next James Bond. In this article we will take a look at what private investigators can and cannot do so you will know if we can help your current situation.
Why are private investigators hired?
In the movies private investigators are often shown breaking into homes, spying on the bad guys and catching them in the act and finally saving the day. In the real world, private investigators aren’t allowed to break into a person’s home or hack into their online accounts to find incriminating evidence.
Private investigators are hired for the purpose of collecting data in a lawful manner. A private investigator will have to abide by the laws of the country they operate in and any evidence collected will have to be collected in a lawful way. At Covert LTD we understand the importance of the evidence handling process as our founders are ex-police with many years of service.
Are private investigators like the police and can they arrest someone?
Private investigators cannot arrest someone and we don’t have specialist powers to do so. Private Investigators can perform a citizens arrest but the majority of the time a private investigator will hand over any incriminating evidence to the police to deal with.
Private investigators also can’t carry a badge as impersonating a police officer is a crime, however, private investigators may carry ID on them that will show their credentials.
Can private investigators hack social media accounts?
Once again private investigators need to operate within the means of the law and cannot hack into social media accounts, emails, mail or anything else where a person would expect a level of privacy.
Private investigators can however look at social media for clues that any wrongdoing is happening and can use a variety of methods of catching out people through social media.
Private investigators can also legally look at public records, court rulings and perform background checks.
Can a private investigator bug a car, room, hotel etc?
When it comes to bugging services the situations are all going to be different so there is not a yes or no answer to them all. For example, a private investigator can put a tracking device on a car with the permission of its owner. A real-world example of this may be if an employer suspects an employee of using a work-related vehicle for not work-related tasks.
A private investigator on the other hand wouldn’t be able to bug a personal car without permission. If the car was being shared by the person under investigation with a client then it would be possible to monitor a car. Usually, cases like this are seen with couples who suspect a partner of cheating.
Can a private investigator follow someone around?
Yes, a private investigator can follow another person around and gather evidence. Evidence will then be presented to the client so they can decide on the next steps in the process.
A private investigator can legally follow a person around providing they are not breaking any privacy laws. A private investigator for example can’t take photos of a person through the windows in their home or in their back garden either as you have a right to a certain level of privacy at home.
What can a private investigator do legally in the UK – Private investigator powers.
Private investigators have the same powers as individuals in the UK but knowing the law makes it easy for us to collect evidence in a legal way which can then be used in a court of law if need be.
A private investigator doesn’t have to bug hotel rooms to see if a partner is cheating, and they don’t have to bug a boardroom or anywhere else in a business to see if fraud is happening. A good detective can gather evidence in a legal way which will provide our customers with peace of mind either way.
Do Private Investigators in The UK Need A License?
If a private investigator want’s to track an individual’s whereabouts in the UK then they need a license provided by the SIA or Security Industry Authority. Getting a license is a difficult process but doing so ensures that the private investigator understands the powers they have and can protect you as the customer from liabilities.
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